(This poem was inspired by a wonderful conversation I had earlier today)
Get in the Car
Turn the key to START
Turn up the base
Let it revamp your heart.
Let it consume you
The sound and the road
Be your own entertainer
Let your mind unload.
The rear-view mirror
Shows no one to lead.
In your car, alone,
Be who you want to be.
The cold and the dark
Suggest fear and strife.
But this path is well lit
All you have are headlights.
Gray and black
Are the colors you see.
The simplicity
Invites tranquility.
Drive the speed you want
The destination you choose.
Better than sleep,
The drive is my muse.
Walking up to my porch
I'm back in real life
Until our next engagement,
Just me and River Drive.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
Single
Face to the sun
Heat on my skin.
Finally happier, myself
Than I had been with him.
Love isn't always kissing.
Self-worth isn't holding hands.
This peace is mine for me.
Now I smile because I can.
I see things in a new light
I'm better than I knew.
I've come so very far
The pain has been subdued.
The nights no longer hurt me
They're filled with dreams brand new.
No more tear-stained pillows.
My days are brighter too.
Life is getting better
Just like I knew it would.
There's so much to look forward to
Wouldn't change a moment if I could...
Heat on my skin.
Finally happier, myself
Than I had been with him.
Love isn't always kissing.
Self-worth isn't holding hands.
This peace is mine for me.
Now I smile because I can.
I see things in a new light
I'm better than I knew.
I've come so very far
The pain has been subdued.
The nights no longer hurt me
They're filled with dreams brand new.
No more tear-stained pillows.
My days are brighter too.
Life is getting better
Just like I knew it would.
There's so much to look forward to
Wouldn't change a moment if I could...
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
To an Old Friend
A forever friend
A constant enemy
I never at the moment
Knew what you meant to me.
So many lessons learned
Endless memories made
For me, you've done so much
Yours is my debt to pay.
Cold nights and bitter mornings
Every season of the year
Our future used to scare me
But it's a different kind of fear.
Love, lust, and lies
We've been through it all
At times I don't deserve it
But you'd catch me if I'd fall
This poem is for you, my friend
My love for you, I cannot hide.
For all the things you've taught me, Time,
Thanks for being on my side.
Feb 17, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
True Story...
So I had a blog where all of my writings were kept, but then someone with obviously way too much time on their hands decided hacking it sounded like fun. So my old blog got flagged, and I was kicked off. All of these writings were obviously not done the same day (i.e. 'Thanksgiving' was done on Thanksgiving). However, I still wanted to keep them all together.
Welcome to the Recollection.
A Walk Remembering
Walking through the park
With you by my side.
Talking, joking, laughing,
We were feeling alright.
Too young to grow up.
Decisions were made.
It was for the best
Sure the feelings would fade.
As the nights creep in
I lie awake in the dark.
Thinking about nothing,
I'm back at the park.
But the trees are all gone,
Only the shadows remain.
It all looks familiar,
But nothing feels the same.
Why must moving on
Mean cutting all ties?
And why do we believe
Some of the biggest lies?
Because;
It's ok to love
Those you've left behind.
It's alright to let them
Cross your mind.
It's normal to feel fear
When looking ahead.
Sometimes what you do
Won't make sense in your head.
Places you've seen
And people you know.
When you look back years later
What will you have to show?
Your memories are yours
Whether you want them or not.
Your memories show you
What you had and what you've got.
Whether it's your very first kiss,
A slow dance in the dark,
Laughing among friends,
Or that walk in the park.
February 12, 2010.
These are the Things That My Mother Doesn’t Know
At the start
I sit on the side
Tell a little white lie
So my friends seem alright.
But then
the fun goes on
And I just can’t run
Self-control just doesn’t last that long.
When it seems like you can’t grow up
Till you look back now and it was a bit too much
Sure it was fun then
But was it worth it in the end?
Yes.
On those mornings after you never went to sleep
During those nights when your thoughts went too deep
What were you thinking? And why?
Have you ever considered suicide?
When the world says fuck
And you’re shit out of luck
No one knows why
But your emotions get stuck
There are days when breathing seems hard.
There are days when people seem too far.
There are days when conversation seems a chore
…But then someone makes you smile and you last another while.
Thanks.
These are the things that my mother doesn't know
Some of the things that I try not to show.
But if she even had the slightest idea
Would I still be the daughter she's always held dear?
No.
So tomorrow I'll wake up and say good morning
Tell her another "fairy tale story."
Smile as I put my thoughts on a shelf
On the way to school I'll try convincing myself.
I sit on the side
Tell a little white lie
So my friends seem alright.
But then
the fun goes on
And I just can’t run
Self-control just doesn’t last that long.
When it seems like you can’t grow up
Till you look back now and it was a bit too much
Sure it was fun then
But was it worth it in the end?
Yes.
On those mornings after you never went to sleep
During those nights when your thoughts went too deep
What were you thinking? And why?
Have you ever considered suicide?
When the world says fuck
And you’re shit out of luck
No one knows why
But your emotions get stuck
There are days when breathing seems hard.
There are days when people seem too far.
There are days when conversation seems a chore
…But then someone makes you smile and you last another while.
Thanks.
These are the things that my mother doesn't know
Some of the things that I try not to show.
But if she even had the slightest idea
Would I still be the daughter she's always held dear?
No.
So tomorrow I'll wake up and say good morning
Tell her another "fairy tale story."
Smile as I put my thoughts on a shelf
On the way to school I'll try convincing myself.
January 31, 2010
Thanksgiving (The Verb is in the Word)
Being Thanksgiving, today I am reminded of all those things I take for granted...
I am Thankful that I live in a country where I am free to read/speak the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
I am Thankful for those in my life who have shown me what loving a person really means.
I am Thankful for the diversity I see in everyday life, and the strength is has given me to be accepting of others.
I am Thankful for second chances because sometimes people need a chance to apply the lesson they learned from the mistakes.
I am Thankful for those who speak the truth, especially when it's harder to give than it is to take.
I am Thankful for the people in my life that have shown me light on my darkest days.
I am Thankful that I have so many reasons to smile every single day.
I am Thankful for my family, for teaching me that sometimes it's more than a blood connection.
I am Thankful for my Calling, and the journey it sets before me.
I am Thankful for my Parents, they're on this crazy trip too, and if they haven't given up, it gives me hope.
I am Thankful for my ability to write, because expressing my emotions makes it easier to deal with them.
I am Thankful for the power or Prayer, for those days when God is easier to talk to than people.
I am Thankful that I never go without.
I am extremely Thankful for the fact that the idea of serving others has been stressed all my life.
I am Thankful for Peace, Love, and Light God has shed upon my life
I am Thankful that I live in a country where I am free to read/speak the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
I am Thankful for those in my life who have shown me what loving a person really means.
I am Thankful for the diversity I see in everyday life, and the strength is has given me to be accepting of others.
I am Thankful for second chances because sometimes people need a chance to apply the lesson they learned from the mistakes.
I am Thankful for those who speak the truth, especially when it's harder to give than it is to take.
I am Thankful for the people in my life that have shown me light on my darkest days.
I am Thankful that I have so many reasons to smile every single day.
I am Thankful for my family, for teaching me that sometimes it's more than a blood connection.
I am Thankful for my Calling, and the journey it sets before me.
I am Thankful for my Parents, they're on this crazy trip too, and if they haven't given up, it gives me hope.
I am Thankful for my ability to write, because expressing my emotions makes it easier to deal with them.
I am Thankful for the power or Prayer, for those days when God is easier to talk to than people.
I am Thankful that I never go without.
I am extremely Thankful for the fact that the idea of serving others has been stressed all my life.
I am Thankful for Peace, Love, and Light God has shed upon my life
Pure Beauty
I do not truly understand how so many people can make their way around or past the park without taking a look inside...
Do people really not see what I see?
That every living thing, no matter the color, size, or noise it makes is beautiful? That with every flower that blooms, the promise that there will be a tomorrow is evident? That every dying tree is proof of the past? That every calling animal is proof that there is life outside our species, and that there are other ways of survival?
People see the park as entertainment. A place to take the kids to run off some steam, a place to leave themselves behind, much like the movie theater. I see it as a reminder of what true beauty really is.
The beauty of nature is perfect...because it has to be. I believe that no one person is perfect, but nature, the pure beauty of the earth, is the very definition of perfection.
Today I have concluded: That the sounds of nature isn't really sound at all. It's the string of thoughts that come to the surface of our consciousness when nature brings us to that level of peace.
Do people really not see what I see?
That every living thing, no matter the color, size, or noise it makes is beautiful? That with every flower that blooms, the promise that there will be a tomorrow is evident? That every dying tree is proof of the past? That every calling animal is proof that there is life outside our species, and that there are other ways of survival?
People see the park as entertainment. A place to take the kids to run off some steam, a place to leave themselves behind, much like the movie theater. I see it as a reminder of what true beauty really is.
The beauty of nature is perfect...because it has to be. I believe that no one person is perfect, but nature, the pure beauty of the earth, is the very definition of perfection.
Today I have concluded: That the sounds of nature isn't really sound at all. It's the string of thoughts that come to the surface of our consciousness when nature brings us to that level of peace.
A Day at the Park
I went to kill time... but when I got there, I found peace of mind.
Fate.
Choices.
Genes.
Environment.
Society.
Who/What decides who we become?
As I sit here: on a bench-in the shade-by a pond
i have the rare ability to see both book-ends of life.
Children running on the playground without a clue as to what comes next. They live simply day-by-day.
At the same time; a group of a much older generation is grouped together talking, walking, and sharing stories. I notice, they live the same way: day-by-day. While choosing whether or not to accept what they know os coming next.
While I am no where near the middle, much closer to birth than death, I'm almost jealous of their life-style. Children know exactly who they are. They define themselves with much simpler terms. They're sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, friends, and students. Instead of being individuals, their lives are characterized by their relationships with others.
The elderly, they've been on their adventures, they've met people, been places, experienced life. They know the answers. But the answers are theirs... not mine.
Our lives cannot be truly defined by others. Others' perceptions are a part of their lives more than they are ours'. To actually know yourself, you have to be able to pick yourself a part. Every piece of yourself. What you believe, what you know, what you've experienced, what you've learned... all things that make us, us. Makes our lives, our lives.
But when does that life really begin? For years, upon decades, upon centuries, science and religion have both laid claim to the answer. Conception vs First Breath (Birth). But that's not the "life" I'm discussing. Because when we look back at our childhood, or our infancy, was that life?
Or does life start when Free Will begins? And when is that? Adolescence? Adulthood? How long do we hide behind who we're expected to be, before who we really arebecomes obvious?
When will who we are and who we're meant to become acknowledge the others' existence?
And when that happens... will we know?
Choices.
Genes.
Environment.
Society.
Who/What decides who we become?
As I sit here: on a bench-in the shade-by a pond
i have the rare ability to see both book-ends of life.
Children running on the playground without a clue as to what comes next. They live simply day-by-day.
At the same time; a group of a much older generation is grouped together talking, walking, and sharing stories. I notice, they live the same way: day-by-day. While choosing whether or not to accept what they know os coming next.
While I am no where near the middle, much closer to birth than death, I'm almost jealous of their life-style. Children know exactly who they are. They define themselves with much simpler terms. They're sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, friends, and students. Instead of being individuals, their lives are characterized by their relationships with others.
The elderly, they've been on their adventures, they've met people, been places, experienced life. They know the answers. But the answers are theirs... not mine.
Our lives cannot be truly defined by others. Others' perceptions are a part of their lives more than they are ours'. To actually know yourself, you have to be able to pick yourself a part. Every piece of yourself. What you believe, what you know, what you've experienced, what you've learned... all things that make us, us. Makes our lives, our lives.
But when does that life really begin? For years, upon decades, upon centuries, science and religion have both laid claim to the answer. Conception vs First Breath (Birth). But that's not the "life" I'm discussing. Because when we look back at our childhood, or our infancy, was that life?
Or does life start when Free Will begins? And when is that? Adolescence? Adulthood? How long do we hide behind who we're expected to be, before who we really arebecomes obvious?
When will who we are and who we're meant to become acknowledge the others' existence?
And when that happens... will we know?
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