River Drive

(This poem was inspired by a wonderful conversation I had earlier today)

Get in the Car
Turn the key to START
Turn up the base
Let it revamp your heart.

Let it consume you
The sound and the road
Be your own entertainer
Let your mind unload.

The rear-view mirror
Shows no one to lead.
In your car, alone,
Be who you want to be.

The cold and the dark
Suggest fear and strife.
But this path is well lit
All you have are headlights.

Gray and black
Are the colors you see.
The simplicity
Invites tranquility.

Drive the speed you want
The destination you choose.
Better than sleep,
The drive is my muse.

Walking up to my porch
I'm back in real life
Until our next engagement,
Just me and River Drive.

Single

Face to the sun
Heat on my skin.
Finally happier, myself
Than I had been with him.

Love isn't always kissing.
Self-worth isn't holding hands.
This peace is mine for me.
Now I smile because I can.

I see things in a new light
I'm better than I knew.
I've come so very far
The pain has been subdued.

The nights no longer hurt me
They're filled with dreams brand new.
No more tear-stained pillows.
My days are brighter too.

Life is getting better
Just like I knew it would.
There's so much to look forward to
Wouldn't change a moment if I could...

To an Old Friend

A forever friend

A constant enemy

I never at the moment

Knew what you meant to me.

So many lessons learned

Endless memories made

For me, you've done so much

Yours is my debt to pay.

Cold nights and bitter mornings

Every season of the year

Our future used to scare me

But it's a different kind of fear.

Love, lust, and lies

We've been through it all

At times I don't deserve it

But you'd catch me if I'd fall

This poem is for you, my friend

My love for you, I cannot hide.

For all the things you've taught me, Time,

Thanks for being on my side.

Feb 17, 2010

True Story...

So I had a blog where all of my writings were kept, but then someone with obviously way too much time on their hands decided hacking it sounded like fun. So my old blog got flagged, and I was kicked off. All of these writings were obviously not done the same day (i.e. 'Thanksgiving' was done on Thanksgiving). However, I still wanted to keep them all together.

Welcome to the Recollection.

A Walk Remembering

Walking through the park

With you by my side.

Talking, joking, laughing,

We were feeling alright.

Too young to grow up.

Decisions were made.

It was for the best

Sure the feelings would fade.

As the nights creep in

I lie awake in the dark.

Thinking about nothing,

I'm back at the park.

But the trees are all gone,

Only the shadows remain.

It all looks familiar,

But nothing feels the same.

Why must moving on

Mean cutting all ties?

And why do we believe

Some of the biggest lies?

Because;

It's ok to love

Those you've left behind.

It's alright to let them

Cross your mind.

It's normal to feel fear

When looking ahead.

Sometimes what you do

Won't make sense in your head.

Places you've seen

And people you know.

When you look back years later

What will you have to show?

Your memories are yours

Whether you want them or not.

Your memories show you

What you had and what you've got.

Whether it's your very first kiss,

A slow dance in the dark,

Laughing among friends,

Or that walk in the park.

February 12, 2010.

These are the Things That My Mother Doesn’t Know

At the start
I sit on the side
Tell a little white lie
So my friends seem alright.

But then
the fun goes on
And I just can’t run
Self-control just doesn’t last that long.

When it seems like you can’t grow up
Till you look back now and it was a bit too much
Sure it was fun then
But was it worth it in the end?
Yes.

On those mornings after you never went to sleep
During those nights when your thoughts went too deep
What were you thinking? And why?
Have you ever considered suicide?

When the world says fuck
And you’re shit out of luck
No one knows why
But your emotions get stuck

There are days when breathing seems hard.
There are days when people seem too far.
There are days when conversation seems a chore
…But then someone makes you smile and you last another while.
Thanks.

These are the things that my mother doesn't know
Some of the things that I try not to show.
But if she even had the slightest idea
Would I still be the daughter she's always held dear?
No.

So tomorrow I'll wake up and say good morning
Tell her another "fairy tale story."
Smile as I put my thoughts on a shelf
On the way to school I'll try convincing myself.

January 31, 2010

Thanksgiving (The Verb is in the Word)

Being Thanksgiving, today I am reminded of all those things I take for granted...
I am Thankful that I live in a country where I am free to read/speak the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
I am Thankful for those in my life who have shown me what loving a person really means.
I am Thankful for the diversity I see in everyday life, and the strength is has given me to be accepting of others.
I am Thankful for second chances because sometimes people need a chance to apply the lesson they learned from the mistakes.
I am Thankful for those who speak the truth, especially when it's harder to give than it is to take.
I am Thankful for the people in my life that have shown me light on my darkest days.
I am Thankful that I have so many reasons to smile every single day.
I am Thankful for my family, for teaching me that sometimes it's more than a blood connection.
I am Thankful for my Calling, and the journey it sets before me.
I am Thankful for my Parents, they're on this crazy trip too, and if they haven't given up, it gives me hope.
I am Thankful for my ability to write, because expressing my emotions makes it easier to deal with them.
I am Thankful for the power or Prayer, for those days when God is easier to talk to than people.
I am Thankful that I never go without.
I am extremely Thankful for the fact that the idea of serving others has been stressed all my life.

I am Thankful for Peace, Love, and Light God has shed upon my life