I sit on the side
Tell a little white lie
So my friends seem alright.
But then
the fun goes on
And I just can’t run
Self-control just doesn’t last that long.
When it seems like you can’t grow up
Till you look back now and it was a bit too much
Sure it was fun then
But was it worth it in the end?
Yes.
On those mornings after you never went to sleep
During those nights when your thoughts went too deep
What were you thinking? And why?
Have you ever considered suicide?
When the world says fuck
And you’re shit out of luck
No one knows why
But your emotions get stuck
There are days when breathing seems hard.
There are days when people seem too far.
There are days when conversation seems a chore
…But then someone makes you smile and you last another while.
Thanks.
These are the things that my mother doesn't know
Some of the things that I try not to show.
But if she even had the slightest idea
Would I still be the daughter she's always held dear?
No.
So tomorrow I'll wake up and say good morning
Tell her another "fairy tale story."
Smile as I put my thoughts on a shelf
On the way to school I'll try convincing myself.
January 31, 2010
I understand this feeling, I believe. Some days I know that although the things I did were never really that bad, some of them would ruin my image in "their eyes" and therefore I felt it was necessary to hide these escapades. Often times I found myself telling her things that just made my life seem so boring she wouldn't bother to ask anymore.
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